And I Was Cut Down to Size

I always believed that I was the best or at least amongst the best in any gathering of fellow human beings. And therefore, MBA for me has been an enlightening experience: in more ways than one. Being amongst the best people of the country has some major occupational hazards. It shakes you up to the core and makes you see things about yourself you always ignored as unnecessary or unimportant.

 The most gruelling of experiences in an Indian MBA is the summer placement process. I have been through the ordeal quite recently, and so, I have collected some rare marvels of wisdom that I would like to share.

The pristine ‘day 0’ starts with a great beverages company that wants us to go out in the sun selling cold drinks to the unlikeliest of characters. Now I am a bit choosy. Would I want to work in an FMCG? I am certainly not the kind of guy who would want to go out into the markets and deal with sundry retailers and distributors. Not my kind of role. But then who cares, it’s just for two months - I think I will try it out anyway. At least I will figure out if I actually want to do it or not. Besides, the markets are choppy and all.

I am out of round 1.

Who cares – I didn’t want to go there anyway. I will wait for the dream company – the consulting major or the trading house. The next thing I know, the consulting major I was waiting for has ditched us at the last moment and is not coming this time. And trading houses do not like people with prior work experience - especially in the IT Industry.

Suddenly I find myself applying to all the FMCGs coming to the campus – only to get rejected in round 0,2,1 and 2, in that order.

My interviews go in the following fashion:

Interviewer:  Tell me something about yourself

Me:  Blah blah...

Interviewer: What is the BCG Matrix?

Me: Blah blah... (this one is literal)

Interviewer: No, that’s the KCG Matrix. By Kinshu Consulting Group. Have you ever read about it? (With a look that suggests that the flesh will melt off his face)

I blabber some more and the interviewer suggests that I may leave; which I quite happily do.

12 companies come on day 0. No luck.

Somehow I manage to sleep shamefully for the night. Speaking to myself- why the hell I didn’t study? Memorizing for the 100^th time my answers to some questions which the panel never asked, even in any of the 8 interviews I appeared subsequently. Reading for the nth time the profile of the company, who’s the CEO and what they have to offer.

Day 1 has some more FMCGs, 1 bank and 2 IT Companies. IT suddenly sounds like music in the ear –A green oasis on the gruelling deserts of summers. But I suddenly feel I am too good at killing interviews. IT will be no different as well.

FMCGs reject me more than what a normal respectable human being can bear. 48 hours into the process (sleeping for roughly 2 hours in between) tires you to death. And then: these rejections. I decide I will never buy products of the companies that rejected me. This would mean that for the rest of my life, I will never brush my teeth, never use soap, never use a shampoo and yes – never clean my toilets.

Finally I am completely exhausted when the interview shortlist for the good old IT Major is announced. I am quite sure that I am not going to make it. Completely sapped out, spent, drooping I go in. But suddenly I feel at home. Good old discussions on the current state of Indian IT Industry. Good old discussions on the benefits and opportunities from the nuclear deal. Good old question on my strengths – which I have seriously started doubting by now. Good old discussions on good old things which make me feel better about life.

And so I am back to square one with my internship just across the road from the company where I worked for the past 2 years.

 Life is good!

But one learns the following lessons from the experience:

1.       Don’t try to fit in where you do not belong.

2.       Find out where you actually belong.

3.       Prepare well – there are no parallels to it.

4.       Know your subject inside out. This is what you are here for. And finally,

5.       Don’t give up cleaning toilets if a company rejects you, it gets nasty for people around you.