I might never bring myself to stop regretting my decision to leave Delhi.
I would miss this place - every bit of it. The heat, the chill, the wide roads jammed with wider cars, the rude, in-your-face, obnoxious people... everything. I will miss the paranthas, the parties - the absolute drunken stupor in all of them. And, above all, I’ll miss my friends.
I still remember the day I first looked at the city, down from the window of my flight from Pune. Like a huge carpet of scintillating diamonds spread across the earth till eternity, the magnificence of Delhi just left me spellbound for a few seconds. For all the mush in me, it was love at first sight. Somebody said to me that I will miss the 18 months of my MBA for the coming 18 years of my life. Well, that’s true. But these 18 months couldn’t have been the same in any other place. Delhi changed me, in more ways than I might approve of.
For starters, I am no longer the care-about-everyone-around-you homeboy anymore. The devil may care recklessness of Delhi is very much in the bloodstream now. I dont know if it was the people around me or the effect of the city that made me start believing that the ultimate aim of human life is to keep oneself happy, the rest has to take care of itself. I learned being ruthlessly honest to myself. I can’t pretend any more – about anything. To make matters worse, I can’t stand pretentious behaviour of others as well. Even with the best of intentions of the best of them, it just freaks me out. Which is good in a way, I think.
The good thing is that probably for the first time in 25 years, I feel like living for myself. Standing up for what I believe is right and doing what I feel like doing irrespective of others opinion about me. For the first time, I dont want to do things to make people happy or proud of me, but for making myself proud of the life that I live and the results that I achieve out of it – good or bad. I know that sounds selfish. But in a crooked way, trust me I am having a lot of fun...
That’s the key... Probably I’ve just learnt to have fun... with chutzpah... this is what Delhi does to people.
6 comments:
Kinshu,
After reading this, I recollect a post I read at http://chitchatni.blogspot.com/2009/06/dilliodilli.html
Have a look.. Thought you may like it. Waise keep the same selfish spirit going.. :)
~Ankit
am proud of u.. :) thats all i can say.. guess that lil speech of ours at that session that's been tactfully recorded by puneet didn't go kaput after all :) :) anyway, i hate to admit it, but i enjoyed this city for more reasons than one, u being one of them.. kudos to the write up.. !!
hey, knw wht dis is what i felt after reading fountain head and this is how I have been feeling after that. I guess what Delhi did to you, FH did to me !!!!!
Maintain this attitude dude !!
Dude,
I dunno, but its wierd.. I felt like writing a post on Delhi soon after completing my MBA as well ;) Buddy effect i guess..
Well having spent 26 yrs in Delhi, I can say Delhi does a lot to u.. It makes u think larger than life. It makes you feel powerful. It makes you enjoy everything that is to be enjoyed. It makes you ruthlessly yourself! That's Dilli meri jaan! :)
@Ankit - The other blog u suggested is awesome! thanks.. wait till Delhi has its full effect on you ;) and please dont stop it from doing so...
@ Apu - thanks.. and yea.. i have a list of names responsible for this moral deterioration of sorts that m goin thru.. and you feature pretty much at the top... thanks a zillion gal!
@Dhansu - o please.. not Ayn Rand!
@Nishant - of all the things we have in common... ;)
Love Delhi! it really does make u feel powerful...
@All - Thanks for your comment :)
I already told u my views about delli..:)
but wowww....after reading this
now need to change my outlook towards it I guess..:)
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